i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
