Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
