Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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