the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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