your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
