Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
