i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
