The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We left the knife in your bed.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize