"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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