Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
