I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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