hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
