you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
