brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
