girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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