Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
