I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
How's work?
Spinning.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
