What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
