So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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