His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
