Can i not drive my cunt home
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You did what with his pubic hair?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
