I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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