Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
