oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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