He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
