You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Are we still banned from the library?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
