ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
