soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
