i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I have aggressive nipples.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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