i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
