Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
