my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
