just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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