I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
