Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
How's work?
Spinning.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
