OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
