I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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