I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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