You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
