i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
