Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My ATM looks so different sober.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
