your room smells of hookers.
And success
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
