Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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