someone owes me an orgasm
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize