Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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