But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
