Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wish i was in the wii world.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
