So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
