I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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