when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
