At least make sure they are 18
Why
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
