my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
