If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
