Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Come see our sink grown plant.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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