Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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