I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
