You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize