and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
