K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
His nipple licking is glorious
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