HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
