like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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