Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize