I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
