My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I want a musical about memes.
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