She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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