there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
